What if instead of fixing the laptop to a piece of furniture, it prevented the laptop from being used. The idea being that laptops get stolen most when you walk away from the table, when you walk away you close the laptop and it requires a key to be opened. so if it can't be opened or used then it's not much value to the thief unless they can unlock it. I imagine that if you have it in your own home you have nearly infinite amount of time to pick it or saw it open though, but it certainly makes a less savory target.
That all being said kind of leads me to consider using a laptop "safe" as a handbag as the best option. I've not personally tried it, but "DormVault" looks thin enough, and it looks like you could ditch their flimsy lock and use a good padlock with it. Really I'd imagine any 20", laptop proportioned metal box that can fit a padlock would do.