What is it again?

by **Shrub** » 22 Mar 2006 22:04

SteveW wrote:I must say how disappointed i am with the level of domestic security advice being offered on this site .

If i may offer a few criticisms:

The terminator has yet to survive a movie, and in the last one took a sever slapping from a girl. Hardly adequate.

Robocop can be easily by passed with a hose. All that is required is patience. Hose him down and wait for the rust to set in.

The Knights who say Ni. Bring a shrubbery or a set of ear plugs.

The bunny could be a problem though

And as for Illusions mum... bring a pair of slippers and an armchair. If that fails stick a George Cloony movie on the telly, that will defeat all women over 35.

I think i have made my case and i expect to see standards improve

Well i shall change my front door to the black knight and the back door to cheif wiggam lol

by **Treeson** » 22 Mar 2006 22:23

haha!!!

This is great, when I first read the original post, I was somewhat confused, but actually believed there was a huge amount of voltage hooked up to his door. lol :lol:

.

After the last post though... I was pretty sure it was a fake... :cry:

by **Shrub** » 22 Mar 2006 22:31

Problem is as goon says i think the OP thinks its true :roll:

by **LockNewbie21** » 22 Mar 2006 23:51

I used little sticks and sharpened them, then palced them around my yard in an upward facing direction, upon picking the lock wihtout a proper key a spring loaded blocked which the intruder is standing on repels him helplessly into the air and onto the shapened sticks, the the gate lowers where little muscrats pop out and implant there babies in his body and then he lies thre in defeat later dieing when consumed by the muscrat babies he was harboring till birth arose. I think this guy is a sad little boy, he watches porn and wishs for a girlfriend, or its just some guy bored stoned drunk on lsd and a tad bit of whatever else and having a go at his mind enlightening expiernce... none the less a rather creative and new style thread.

Andy

by **illusion** » 23 Mar 2006 7:39

n2oah wrote:I have illusion's mum guarding my door! Talk about the ultimate intimidation for bulgulars!

She is pretty fierce.... kinda like the old woman from Kung-Fu-Hustle

Oh, oh, I got it! Get Chuck Norris out in front of your door. :wink:

by **bonez** » 23 Mar 2006 8:33

scrub i believe you mate :!:

any thing can happen where you live :!:

that would be cloud cuckoo land :!:

by **Shrub** » 23 Mar 2006 9:31

If it is reality it must be a harsh place where a bloke stuck to a door lock can screem for 8 hours and still get no help, why hasnt scrub been shot or somthing if this was a regular occurance and he lives in such a hostile place,

The burgulars pick the locks round your way but arent intelligent enough to not try your electified lock again?

It was a good laugh and yes weve got 2 pages out of it but come on now would your mummy and daddy have been upset if a bloke was stuck to your door for 8 hours, it must have taken some serious pocket money saving to pay for a lockie to do that not alone find one who is an electrician as well and one that was willing to do it.

by mh » 30 Mar 2006 16:00

illusion wrote:Meh, I have The Nights Who Say Nei garding my house, and the killer rabbit guarding the back door. I pity the fool who tries to break into my house.

But what if they attack it with Fresh Fruits? :lol:

Wow, that was fun to read.

by **illusion** » 30 Mar 2006 16:07

Nah, if somebody comes up to my house with the Holy Hand Grenade, and a shrubbery then I'm really in trouble.

by **clayton1123** » 31 Mar 2006 0:25

Me? I like to hook my car battery up to my front door. When the bodys pill up I take them and put them in different situations like in the movie "saw" For those of you that have not watched saw and saw2 head to limewire to download legally for free.
My favorite is putting them in a house with a nerve agent that makes them cough blood. The rooms are dark and damp. The "contestants" all wake up in a dimly light room with an ancient t.v. It flickers on. It explains what is going on and that when the t.v. turns off they have thirty seconds to jump in a pit of dirty hypodermic needles and dig for the key or else the agent sets in their lungs and they are sealed in the room permanetly. From saw2. :evil:

Another mean scenario is when they wake up they have a steal bear trap on their heads that is timer realesed. A tape recorder is on their chest they click it on and something in their steal trap starts ticking..........The tape goes on to say that will asleep a key was imbedded behind their eye. They stand up and look into a mirror with a scapol taped to it........What happens is in the movie.

lol,on this post I think I took it toooooo far. (I'm bored)

by **rake** » 1 Apr 2006 19:04

I took a trip to Utah and the first thing you see coming off the freeway is a bunch of Halloween spook houses, about any where you go in Salt Lake spook houses all over. Shock for an hour or eight hours so what people are kidnap in that city taken to their cellars and are on electric wires for months to years and besides the torure they grow weeds in the people. anytime they have a rain storm and the lights go out people start escaping down the streets from being shock with bushs of weeds growing on them about three feet thick. Also when you get shock your memory collapes and you keep going back the picker probly couldnt remember electric shock danger and kept on a trying forgeting his memory.

by **skold** » 1 Apr 2006 20:21

w

t

f

:shock:

by **skold** » 1 Apr 2006 20:32

n2oah wrote:I have illusion's mum guarding my door! Talk about the ultimate intimidation for bulgulars!

I don't even have any doors or windows.

I just have a weird padded house, i should probably ask the men in white for an uprgrade, i'm sick of only having one singular room. Maybe they will even let me have a kitchen...With lots of knives and forks...

by **illusion** » 1 Apr 2006 20:36

skold wrote:
n2oah wrote:I have illusion's mum guarding my door! Talk about the ultimate intimidation for bulgulars!

I don't even have any doors or windows.

I just have a weird padded house, i should probably ask the men in white for an uprgrade, i'm sick of only having one singular room. Maybe they will even let me have a kitchen...With lots of knives and forks...

Aww.. I guess your straight jacket must be a bit small as well - time to get re-fitted. :wink:

by **skold** » 1 Apr 2006 20:43

illusion wrote:
skold wrote:
n2oah wrote:I have illusion's mum guarding my door! Talk about the ultimate intimidation for bulgulars!

I don't even have any doors or windows.

I just have a weird padded house, i should probably ask the men in white for an uprgrade, i'm sick of only having one singular room. Maybe they will even let me have a kitchen...With lots of knives and forks...

Aww.. I guess your straight jacket must be a bit small as well - time to get re-fitted.

You mean my arms are not really retarded? The men in white lie?

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