retail lockies: funniest thing said by customers?

[WOT]

Surely, you've heard some funny things.....

I was watching this video and I keep laughing at "this is a home made sledge[Schlage] bump key, 5-pin key"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaaLDBYtFM4

[mhole]

'My insurance company says I need a 5 litre lock on my front door, and this one is only a 3 litre'.

[illusion]

'My insurance company says I need a 5 litre lock on my front door, and this one is only a 3 litre'.

Sell them the dearest lock you own and tell them it's a 6 litre lock?

[maintenanceguy]

I was in a home depot the other day. Elderly couple was walking very slowly down the aisle with the wife walking in front of the husband.

the husband asked the wife if she was okay? She said "yes."

He than asked with a concerned tone "Are you having a stroke?" She said "No" in a quizzical tone.

"Than move your ass" he said.

[maintenanceguy]

only he didn't say "donkey".

[globallockytoo]

Customer walks into locksmiths shop with big sign on the window "KEY CUTTING" and thousands of blanks on a pegboard, "Do you cut keys?"

Apprentice replies, "Sure, how many pieces do you want them cut into?"

[Mutzy]

^ ROFL. I hadn't thought of saying that to customers... (I get it heaps)

[maxxed]

I had one customer that I could not speak to nor would she speak while rekeying her house. She would make the call from a payphone, because her house is bugged, and make the appointment. It worked out well, usually people who are paranoid talk you ear off

[beebo123]

Customer, "I've broken some keys off in my ignition and they won't come out."

Beebo the apprentice, "You've broken a key off in your ignition?"

Customer, "I think it was three."

Beebo the apprentice, "Oh."

[aussielocky]

A guy I used to work with had a good reply to the ' Do you cut keys ' line. Same situation, thousands of keys on boards.

Customer - Do you cut keys

Locky - No we service washing machines

Customer - Oh & he leaves ...

[WOT]

Customer walks into locksmiths shop with big sign on the window "KEY CUTTING" and thousands of blanks on a pegboard, "Do you cut keys?"

Apprentice replies, "Sure, how many pieces do you want them cut into?"

Perhaps the customer meant "you" in the sense of the idiotic looking apprentice himself as opposed to the actual locksmith hence the use of "you" as opposed to "is there a technician who cut keys here?"

Anyways, I personally think shops are only hurting themselves with attitude like that if they do retail key cutting in this highly competitive market. You just chased out some 'ol lady and her friends over to the corporate big box store with the Axxess+ automatic machine who can often do it for less.

[lockpicker69]

I often get called out to gain access to ladies back door

[Eyes_Only]

Went to a 2003 BMW trunk opening job once. When I got there the customer told me I had to give him a huge discount cos he already did half job for me. I asked him what he did and he said he used his keys for his Acura and a small offset needle nose plier and managed to pick the lock open. I took a look and all he did was twist the face cap on the trunk lock.

[globallockytoo]

Saw a sign in a locksmith shop once.....

"Chastity Belts - Free Measure and Quote"

[freakparade3]

Went to a 2003 BMW trunk opening job once. When I got there the customer told me I had to give him a huge discount cos he already did half job for me. I asked him what he did and he said he used his keys for his Acura and a small offset needle nose plier and managed to pick the lock open. I took a look and all he did was twist the face cap on the trunk lock.

I would have charged double.