retail lockies: funniest thing said by customers?

[Schuyler]

Heh, my friends constantly ask me to cut them keys, not realizing they can get it done for a dollar elsewhere, and I'll likely have to hand-file it.

[devildog]

I know what you mean, that's really not cool if you don't have a key machine; it's kind of an 'emergencies only please' sort of thing. I very rarely do that and only mention that I can do it if I really feel it's urgent enough and they can't get it done elsewhere in time.

[prag]

Last Friday we got this old lady walking in the shop and asks us if we cut keys. The shop is full of keys and and related products. Just smile and politely answer yes. She take out an old (1988 Opel/Gm Vauxhall--the type that is milled ) key that has big washer welded to the body of the key.
"What do you charge for this key?"
"Sorry ma'am but we don't have the machine to cut that key" I answer.
"Where can it be done and what does it cost ?"
I give her the directions and tell her an estimate price of what the lockie could charge.
Did I make a mistake."How could you dare charge this much for a key?"
"But ma'am, This is what we think the other locksmith could charge for a key"
She just looks at me and say" This is madness" and storms out the shop.

My assistant then asks me if I saw the big rock of a diamond she had on her wedding finger. Go figure...........

[Schuyler]

She just looks at me and say" This is madness" and storms out the shop.

Did you tell her this was sparta?

[globallockytoo]

Peoples priorities are so twisted sometimes.

The one thing that almost every living person does on a daily basis, is use a key.

But far be it for them to have to spend more for something that they rely on daily.

You get so much more value from a key and lock than you do from virtually anything else, the attitude should be so different.

gee wiz!

[freakparade3]

She just looks at me and say" This is madness" and storms out the shop.

Did you tell her this was sparta?

Very nice.

[djslacker]

I can't remember who in the lockpicking community first said it but John Q. will go to Big Box and buy a $1,000 Plasma screen but they won't spend $30+ on a lock for their front door.

[lutonlocksmith]

Telephone Customer: Do you do house calls?

Yes, are you locked out?

No, Im locked up. Handcuffs, both bracelets on one wrist.

I dont do handcuffs, dont you have the key?

Yes, but the little holes that the key goes in are facing each other and there is only about a pencil thickness of space between the cuffs. No way to get the key in the little hole.

How did that happen?

I was watching "Cops" and was practicing slapping the cuffs on real fast. I held out my left wrist and slapped each cuff on with my right hand. Everything was cool untill I made the keyholes face each other. They are on really tight and my hand is hurting. I dont have a saw and I dont want to go buy one. How much will you charge?

House call and one lock would be $75.

I will give you a hundred.

Cash?

Yeah, I have it.

I took his cuff key, cut it in two with a hacksaw in my van, grabbed a pair of needle nose vise grips to hold the working half of the key, and click he was free.

I still have the key half. But I doubt I will ever get another call like that one.

so how did he manage to look you up then call you

[Schuyler]

so how did he manage to look you up then call you

He could still USE his hands, he just couldn't separate them from one another.

[lutonlocksmith]

good job they werent behind his back then

[Schuyler]

good job they werent behind his back then

Hah! Now THAT would have been trouble "I swear, I swear, I did it myself. NO! No, I just like the look of big black and white horizontal stripes. I had these clothes custom made. What? No, no, 00452793 is my lucky number, I have it stitched on all my shirts"

[weerwolf]

The strangest thing I had , was a woman who came into the shop with a broken Mazda key. I looked at the key and asked if she still had the other part. She replied that the other half is still in the igntion lock. The garage would charge her 30€ to get it out. She just wanted a copy of the head end off the key. So I made her a half a key. But warned her that what she is doing is very unsafe. She didn't mind , as its a very old car that probably wouldn't last the rest of the year.