Crazies

[5thcorps]

In the auto business I come across my share of whack-jobs all the time. I'd like to hear some of your stories about your most outlandishly lunatic customer.
My craziest customer was a 40ish man who laughed incessantly. No matter how bad the news about his vehicle was it was hilarious to him. He had no concept of abuse to machines and while I was explaining to him that the cylinders walls in his engine were badly scored and not machinable he was holding back laughter so hard he was almost in tears. It would be 30 below zero and he would be driving around with the windows down not a care in the world. But summer time the windows were always up and he would come in soaked with sweat complaining that his heater wouldn't turn off. Then he would start laughing and laugh the whole time he was there. Don't know what ever happened to him.

[sfi72]

I don't really know if this qualifies as 'crazy', but I absolutely can't stand the people that stand there and watch while you work on their car, and they touch things and ask you questions about everything that you do. Tends to be more of a female thing, I can only think of one guy who refused to leave his car out of his sight.

[TheSkyer]

Well it's their possession, some people are just really touchy when it comes to their car XD As for asking a ton of question, it's probably just out of curiosity. I always tell them I will answer any questions as long as I can get a cup of coffee XD

I had a woman come into the shop a little while ago and told her we where closed. I litterly said "I'm sorry man but we are closed for the day, unless there's something quick I can help you". SHE WENT NUTS! She started yelling at me that I didn't have any manners and my service was terrible and so on. I really don't know how I could have been any politer....

[5thcorps]

Had an older gentleman stop by on a saturday with a power seat wiring issue in a 2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee. I went out to the vehicle and started looking underneath the driver's side carpet at the harness that goes to the power seat. He sat on the passenger side while I was doing this calmly reading a newspaper. I was back-probing the connectors at his seat when he started to cough. About 20 seconds later he threw up all over the dashboard. I jumped out of the car and stood back only to see him cover the vomit with the newspaper and wipe it off onto the floor. He then blew his nose and asked if there was anything he could help me with. Being about to vomit myself I said no, come back some other time and went inside. He sat out there for 20 minutes then finally left. Never saw him again thank god. Also once had a woman complain of a smell in her Minivan. She looked insane right off the bat. I went out and took a look and the backseat was literally covered with dog s**t. I said "there's your problem" and she fired back with "just don't you worry about that, find the source!" I explained to her I could no longer help her and she came in looking for my boss who went outside to look. He turned on his heels the second he saw the backseat and told her to have her car cleaned. She went into a rage about how we should all be fired and that she would report us to the better business bureau. I said fine but you're not using our phone!

[TheSkyer]

OOO, that reminds me, also a disgusting story.

Woman walks into the shop with a little boy who needed to pee, she asked if she could use my toilet but I had to refuse because on the way there she would pas our supply and money room. She looked at me and said "Fine, he can just do it in his pants then". She then turned over to the boy and urged him on TO ACTUALY PEE his pants.... Worste thing is, he did..........

[5thcorps]

OOO, that reminds me, also a disgusting story.

Woman walks into the shop with a little boy who needed to pee, she asked if she could use my toilet but I had to refuse because on the way there she would pas our supply and money room. She looked at me and said "Fine, he can just do it in his pants then". She then turned over to the boy and urged him on TO ACTUALY PEE his pants.... Worste thing is, he did..........

Sad to say, that was my mom and I was the little boy. Oh that was terrible. Another place down the street wouldn't let me use the can either, so mom made me take dump in my pants too.

[TheSkyer]

Dude, to much info XD

[Engineer]

This reminds me of the time I found a found a pair of boys underpants outside my front door. They looked new, so without thinking I picked them up to throw them in my bin. I found out the hard way that despite looking new on the outside they were well-dumped in.

I'm not talking about 2-3 year old, more like they were for a 10 year old. Now who would do that in the middle of the street, take their pants off and throw them in a doorway? I will never understand some people as long as I live...

[raimundo]

Sounds like a lot of people on some strange drugs in haunted falls. Or maybe theres an epidemic of bipolar syndrome there.

[lockguy8]

i laughed so hard i bit my tongue reading these posts, sorry i cant top that, i had a master key story, you know the guy who comes into the shop looking for a master key ,but u guys have got me beat.

[jdislandlock]

Well it's their possession, some people are just really touchy when it comes to their car XD As for asking a ton of question, it's probably just out of curiosity. I always tell them I will answer any questions as long as I can get a cup of coffee XD

I had a woman come into the shop a little while ago and told her we where closed. I litterly said "I'm sorry man but we are closed for the day, unless there's something quick I can help you". SHE WENT NUTS! She started yelling at me that I didn't have any manners and my service was terrible and so on. I really don't know how I could have been any politer....

well if you called her a man like you did in this paragraph i could see why lopl

[jdislandlock]

i got one, crazy older man must have been in his 70's wanted a key made for his door lock and for it to work the ignition. i told him that it would not worl ignition but i could make one for the doors so he says ok. i make a key to the door lock he happy. comes back an hour or so later, this is not right, i need you to cut the headd off the key its not going in all the way, and it totally was going in. so i decided to do it cause he just kept going off.
he was happy yet again he came back and was like its not working in my ignition started getting mad at me and then he is like, well why do you not
pour wax in the lock? i have seen it done before he says. I camly tell him that if we poured wax in the lock that it would no longer work and we would have accomplished nothing, but he persissts on my doing so. i never did but i just thought it was hilarious, mght not sound as funny as it was, but the guy was nucking futs

[sevedus]

5thcorps, I'm enjoying your thread.
All my life I’ve believed that the essence of humor is the non-sequitur, the unexpected rejoinder. You think you know where the story is headed and then the “blond” delivers the punch-line, the dog runs up with the brick…etc. There’s a moment of mental whiplash and endorphins come screaming out into the bloodstream. But real-life humor often comes with the added fillip of adrenaline. Denial of reality and miss-apprehension of reality provide the set-up and the punch-lines… well, they just happen. Although it’s not a lock-wise story, I’m going to take the chance. Here it is, true story as told…..
Tired from reading fourteen issues of antique pulp-magazines, for his “Survey of Science-Fiction Literature” class, he stepped out on his balcony into the midnight air, which in Michigan, during February, is arctic. Stretching and leaning back he looked up into the bright, clear and starry night sky….except for that really fast moving cloud….black and low, obliterating the stars as it slid over the roof of the apartment building. And was it starting to sleet? No precipitation yet, but a low buzzing, susurrus, accompanied the cloud…which was now showing a distinctly sharp line as it eclipsed the stars….no, now it was showing a sharp out-line. The cloud was holding a shape, maintaining structure, that whirring noise………..RUN!!!
He believed in UFOs. As an article of faith he believed that extra-terrestrial life was more likely to exist than a deity, and had decided long ago that if he were ever to encounter ET or a UFO, they would not have to kidnap him. If anyone was going to be earth’s spokesman or hear “Take me to your leader.” he was applying for the job.
Out the door. No time to lock. No time to close, let alone dress for the occasion. That “Cloud” was moving! Down the stairs, through the foyer, across the parking lot, into the woods, sprinting like a low-hurdler, pajamas and robe flapping like sails, slippers long-gone. He was gaining.
As if on cue, colored lights appeared along the periphery of the giant dark oblong….they started racing around the edge, faster and faster. They’re engaging the main drive!! NO!!!! He redoubled his efforts, bursting through bracken and brush, knee deep now in the snow, until he was directly beneath hovering monster.
“Wait!” his voice cracked with the strain, “WAIT…TAKE ME WITH YOU!”
And as the echo faded into the midnight woods the pitch of the whirring doubled again and again until it shrieked beyond audition. As the behemoth departed it flashed a single, signal down to him……..Shivering, feet numb and mind more-so, he returned through the night, pondering the message and how he’d received it….The meaning was perfectly clear for the message was……

[sevedus]

GOODYEAR

[sevedus]

I hurt more from laughing at myself than my feet did from the frost-bite.