Today, I took it apart, and I have redeemed at least a shred of my self-esteem.

FOUR of the five pins are spools! Heck of a first encounter with security pins. So I put just one back in to acquaint myself with one spool pin. Wow - not that easy. I'm getting better, but it's SO easy to push right past the shear line and overset the stack. Upon reassembly, I put the (part that includes the bible and that the cylinder fits inside) in backwards, and I think that caused the cylinder to bind funny as it spun. I may or may not have sorted that out correctly.
Also upon reassembly, I opted to leave out some parts which I assumed were extraneous - not so. That took a while.
Have you ever done this?

Yep, that's the cylinder stuck in the (whatever the other part is called) because my dumb self didn't finish putting the lock together before I played with it. Imagine my surprise when suddenly the driver pin fell out of the keyhole. Note to other noobs: when a vital part of the lock falls out through the keyhole, it's generally a pretty solid indication that something is amiss. Then the spring went into one of the holes, preventing the cylinder from moving or being removed. I had to poke at it for a while until I got the spring back up inside the bible and was able to remove the cylinder. Rinse, repeat - yep, I did the EXACT same thing again.
But that wasn't nearly as laughable as when I managed to do the same thing yet again, except that the spring got stuck inside one of the shallow holes just offset from vertical on the cylinder. There's no way to manipulate the spring there aside from taking apart the bible, so much to my chagrin, I finally just had to pull hard enough to break the spring. I figure in the time it takes for me to work up to a five-pin Schlage with four spools, I'll have another spring handy.
I continue to underestimate my ability to bugger things up the first time. But I do learn a lot! Such as: spool pins are hard. I want to use very light tension but it just won't do anything. Like all other things, practice makes perfect I'm sure.
Thanks for all the great advice and help on this forum, especially the noob walkthroughs. VERY helpful and appreciated.
Keep pickin'!